


When You're Overwhelmed

by Gaysoundsaboutright



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Giant Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Pre-Episode: Accepting Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:19:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25587346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaysoundsaboutright/pseuds/Gaysoundsaboutright
Summary: There were certain instincts that came with this bigger form. Certain instincts that compelled him to just… Take. Take them. Pick them up. Cradle them against his chest. Stroke them. Comfort them. Keep stroking and comforting them until his warmth lulled them to sleep. Oh he desperately wanted, needed, to gather them all up and hold them close. His fingers twitched, just slightly, but it had the logical facet tense up a little more, made the prince's grip on his sword tighten, even faltered the blind kindness of the moral aspect."Leave." He tried again, gentler this time. "You guys need to leave now, okay?"So of course Roman raised his sword at him.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 149





	1. When You're Overwhelmed

**Author's Note:**

> I am currently in the process of copying my works on tumblr, gayerplease, to my new ao3. I don't really know much about how ao3 works, so please tell me if there's anything I'm doing wrong, ty!

This wasn't the first time Virgil had been forced to grow to this size, and he was well aware it was far from the last. It happened literally every time Thomas was being overwhelmed after all. Often, in other words. 

Only difference was that _normally_ the others weren't able (and didn't care to try) to find the room he had designated for such occasions. 

How _did_ they find it anyway? He thought he'd been careful to… um… Hmm. Well okay, now that he thought about it, he couldn't quite remember setting in place his usual precautions. Him, the embodiment of _anxiety_ had actually forgotten to be careful? That said something. And not a good something, clearly. 

He glanced back down at the terrified trio. Well they were definitely terrified, but all of them had always been loathe to let weakness show. Princey had his sword out, of course, useless as it would be against Virgil when he was at this size. Logan was stoic as always, a mask of calm, but he could feel that it was cracking. And Patton. Oh Patton. Dear little Patton with that awed look stamped onto his face. 

"Wow!" He was squealing. "You're so big kiddo! Or are we small?" 

Virgil stared for a moment. 

"I'm big." He clarified, trying to speak softly so as not to damage their ears. "Forty feet in fact. Which is why you should leave? Perhaps?" 

"But--" 

"That wasn't a request." Virgil tried to mimic the stern tone Logan used last week when he was explaining to the fanciful and emotional facets why Thomas couldn't get a dog. "Out. All of you." 

"Kidd--" 

"Not your kiddo. Out."

Wrong thing to say. Virgil winced as Patton's lip wobbled, and he could barely restrain himself from shooting forward and wrapping the side in a hug. 

There were certain instincts that came with this bigger form. Certain instincts that compelled him to just… Take. Take them. Pick them up. Cradle them against his chest. Stroke them. _Comfort_ them. Keep stroking and comforting them until his warmth lulled them to sleep. Oh he desperately wanted, needed, to gather them all up and hold them close. His fingers twitched, just slightly, but it had the logical facet tense up a little more, made the prince's grip on his sword tighten, even faltered the blind kindness of the moral aspect.

"Leave." He tried again, gentler this time. "You guys need to leave now, okay?" 

So of course Roman raised his sword at him. 

"Not until you apologise to Patton for upsetting him, fiend!" 

Apologise? And have the happy go lucky little Patton forgive him way too readily, not because he actually forgave him but because he felt that he must? Because it was the orderly progression of things right? They apologise and you forgive them and you smile and you say that it's alright when it's really not alright and no one's sorry and no one has been forgiven. Make Patton do that? Yeah, no. Besides, he knew that the moral facet would overdo it and rush forward for a hug too, and if he touched them now, there was no way he would be able to let go. Even if even Logan was reduced to tears, even if Roman was stabbing at him with his sword the whole time, even if Patton gave him that brave, watery smile that always made Virgil's heart break right in two. If they tried to hug him… Virgil elected not to think about it. 

Then Patton put on said brave, watery smile, tilted his chin to make eye contact with Virgil and chirped out an 'it's okay'.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Virgil immediately apologised, though his mind screamed at him to do more than just use _words_. "But I really need you to leave, please."

Patton, the stubborn, way too kind idiot shook off Logan and Roman's grips on him and took another step forward. 

"It's okay! Whatever's happening, you can trust us! You don't have to do this alone, kid- Anxiety. You don't have to do this alone Anxiety! Just let me--" Patton reached out to place his tiny hands on Virgil's knee and Virgil jerked back violently. 

"No!" Virgil shrieked. His voice boomed through the area, so loud it knocked the three of them over. "Get back! Now!" 

"But--" Patton started, stumbling to his feet, a shaky smile already reapplied to his face. 

"But nothing!" Virgil snapped, causing the smaller side to flinch painfully. Oh they were going to _hate_ him after this… Well. More than they already did anyway. "Leave!"

"I just want to help!" Patton cried. Oh no, he was _actually_ crying. "Please let me help!" 

"You can help by leaving." Virgil replied coldly. His instincts protested the way Logan and Roman were dragging a distressed Patton back, out of the room, away from him, out of his reach…, not fast enough! He ached to be able to hold them, to be with them, comfort them, _protect_ them. Fighting it down, he gave them a Cheshire grin. "Go on then you three, better leave. While you still can."

His own words stabbed at him, the burning growing more and more insistent at the alarm on their faces. It was painful to speak like this. To threaten them. He was supposed to manage their fear. He was supposed to warn them when necessary, but when not so the burden of worry was meant to be _his_ and his _alone_ . Most of all, he was _not_ supposed to be the _reason_ they needed to be alarmed. Oh he couldn't hold back for much longer… Why wouldn't they just _leave_?! Sink out! Why wouldn't they just sink out?! 

Oh. They were speaking to him. Well, Patton was, at least. He couldn't understand what he was saying though, his mind too clouded by the pain of denying his instincts. 

He found himself growling suddenly, the sound coming from deep in his throat. He could see Roman and Logan back up faster, but Patton fought off their grip, a hand once again extended in goodwill. Virgil lunged and predictably only captured Patton, the moral aspect's eyes widening as he struggled in Virgil's loose fist. 

"K-kiddo?" Patton stuttered out. Logan had gone deathly pale. Roman was shouting threats, trying to get to the sword that he had dropped when Virgil had lunged forward. But Patton… Oh how could Virgil stand that look? He whined softly, slowly coming back to himself now that his needs had been somewhat satisfied. Oh Patton and his too big heart. "W-what are you doing kiddo?"

"I _told_ you to leave Patton." He hissed out, cupping his hands around Patton to prevent him from falling as he raised him to eye level. "But you wouldn't go. And now I _can't_ let you go."

"What do you mean?" Patton was shaking, unable to summon his fake smiles. Patton was scared of him. _Terrified_ . Virgil shuddered as the urges pulsed through him. Protect him! Take his fear. Make him feel safe! Now! He just _had_ to! He swallowed hard. 

"I'm sorry. I did warn you." He murmured in a much softer tone, shifting so he was sitting cross legged, allowing the tiny side to half sit and half lie in his palm. "I'm compelled to protect you, all of you. And now that I have you…" He ran a hand through the moral side's hair, bitter at the way the moral facet cringed away but unable to stop. "I can't let you go now Patton. I physically can't. You should have run."

Roman was striking at him. But the sword was a toothpick to him, so it wasn't doing much. Logan was trying to reason with him. But he couldn't hear the words. He wanted to pick them up too… He wanted it so badly. He forced himself to look away, trying to content his instincts with taking care of Patton. 

"You two. You should go." He smiled shakily, still not looking at them. "Unless you want to be trapped here too."

"I'm not leaving Patton with yo--" 

"He'll be safe." Virgil promised, keeping his attention firmly on Patton. He didn't dare look up. He wouldn't be able to hold back if he looked up. "I'm meant to protect. I won't, can't, hurt him."

"How can we trust tha--" 

"You have no choice." Virgil snapped. The pain was mounting, his instincts no longer satisfied with just Patton. "I can't control myself Roman! Go! Now!" 

"I won't--" 

But Logan gave him a quick nod and sank out with Roman in tow, much to Virgil's relief. Well, the urge to go find them was still there, but it was easier to ignore when they weren't right in front of him and… Right there to just… Take. Virgil swallowed and turned back to Patton. Patton who had startled and curled into a tiny ball when Virgil had shouted at Roman and Logan, who was shaking and shaking and trying to hide himself away. 

"You're so small." Virgil murmured, running a thumb down Patton's back in a pathetic attempt to comfort him. "...Too delicate."

Patton seemed to physically force himself out of his terror frozen state, managing to give Virgil a nervous laugh. Virgil tried and failed to return the smile. Something in Virgil twisted painfully at Patton's fear. He needed him to be happy. _Needed_ it. 

"Patton. I'm just going to… To lay you against my chest now okay? I need you to get some rest. I need to hold you and keep you _safe_."

"... Do I get a choice?" Patton whimpered, his facade breaking completely and dissolving him into tears. 

"I'm sorry." Virgil gave a bitter smile, reaching out and wiping away his tears, each of his digits terrifyingly longer and thicker than Patton's arms. "I'm so _sorry_. Just… Hopefully this shift won't last long, yeah? I'll shrink back down and the compulsions will fade… Well, fade enough for me to control them, at least. You know I won't hurt you! And I promise I'll let you go as soon as I can!" 

"H-how long does it normally last?" 

Virgil shrugged, trying to be slow and gentle, but the movement made Patton fall backwards onto his back anyway. 

"It'll last until Thomas calms down. Feels safe. When he's less… Well, anxious."

"... He's got that big deadline coming up in a few days, was that it?"

"Yeah."

"So a few days?" 

"Probably."

Patton managed a second more of his brave, brave smiles before it dropped into a sniffle and he curled into a ball in Virgil's palm, making him even tinier to the anxious aspect. 

"... I'm sorry Patton."

(1780 words) 


	2. Hold Me Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So you are crazy!" Anxiety threw his free hand up in disbelief. "Wait wait wait. Let me get this straight, well, gay, I suppose. You, Logan Sanders, embodiment of logic. You came in here specifically to be trapped with me, Virgil Sanders, a dark side who is currently forty feet tall?"  
> "That about sums it up, yes."  
> "And your defence is that, what, you're curious? And oh, you brought your work to do so there would be no drop in Thomas's productivity or anything like that?!?"  
> "That is correct. I have also left a note for the others."  
> "... A note. Logan, you can't be serious."  
> "Of course I'm being serious. Necktie."  
> "Oh my god."

In Logan's defence, they needed a better solution than Anxiety locking himself away from them. It was clear that an intervention was necessary. It was not good for Anxiety to attempt to deny his function.

In Logan's defense, he was curious. Curiosity was one of his core functions! Learning was important! And if you're not curious, then you're probably not excited about learning, so you won't retain any information once the examination has concluded, which is less than optimal because then all those hours would be for naught. It is good to be curious. It is only logical to be curious. 

In Logan's defence, Patton was back with them within a few days, unharmed (Roman checked, thrice), smile still stuck to his face. And if he was a bit jumpy around Anxiety, well, none of them had ever really been _at_ _ease_ around him. Besides, it was perfectly logical to be slightly, slightly intimidated by a creature that much larger than you. Not to mention, it _had_ been rather a shock to learn that Anxiety was capable of size shifting to such proportions. Patton's fear was instinctive and in no way indicated that Anxiety had harmed him. 

After all, Anxiety was meant to be a protector. He had said so himself, hadn't he? There was no logical reason for him to harm any of them. From Patton's accounts, Anxiety had in fact made certain that he had received sufficient nutrition and obtained a suitable amount of rest. That was certainly an improvement for the moral side, who would often stress eat cookies and nothing else for days on end, who liked to end days with passing out after binge watching his favourite shows. And if the anxious side was being a bit of a hypocrite telling Patton to eat healthy and sleep at appropriate timings, well they could help each other with that. Because if he was being honest with himself, which he was not, if he was fussed over by Anxiety in such a manner, it would be an improvement to his lifestyle too. 

In Logan's defence, this was definitely not a spur of the moment decision he had made when the anxious aspect had leapt up suddenly, muttering that they shouldn't follow him if they 'didn't want a repeat of the last time'. He definitely hadn't gathered up his work and anything else he thought he might require and perused the anxious aspect. Because he had definitely been planning to do this since the first time such an event had occurred, and if this time had snuck up on him despite his carefully laid out schedule that everyone ignored, if it happened to be right now, as Thomas worked on this project at 3.46 in the morning, well… Well. 

Because it was nobody's business, really, that maybe, just maybe it wasn't only curiosity that drove him. It was nobody's business, really, that he hadn't eaten all day. It was nobody's business, really, that he had pulled an all nighter the night before, and he didn't think he could tear himself away from the computer tonight either. And it was clearly, obviously, really, nobody's business that if he didn't get Anxiety to force him to eat something, to get some rest, he might work for days longer without any breaks. Work himself to the point of passing out. Again. 

It was no one's business, really, Logan reminded himself as he slipped in, for the moment unnoticed by Anxiety. 

In Logan's defence… He um… had left a note? For the others. So they wouldn't get worried. He had utilised his extensive vocabulary to ensure there would be miscommunications. He had made it perfectly clear that they needn't worry, or come after him. And he knew _exactly_ what he was getting into! Obviously! Speaking off… 

"Anxiety." He called.

The side was curled away from him. Away from the door, the outside, the others, Logan suspected. It didn't surprise him at all that Anxiety didn't hear him. And he had _definitely_ accounted for this and he had _definitely_ brought a megaphone. 

He had not brought a megaphone. After a moment of deliberation, he decided not to waste his voice shouting and remaining unheeded, so he walked to Anxiety's front and tugged sharply at the cuff of his jeans. 

And well, if he jumped when Anxiety startled, that was really no one's business. Certainly not if the way Anxiety's eyes narrowed into slits, wild and feral, when he caught sight of Logan paralysed him. Not if he cringed away, just a little, when Anxiety's hand shot out, stopping just short of grabbing, that was definitely a grabbing motion, him. 

"What are you doing in here?!" Anxiety shrieked, his other hand moving to clutch the wrist of the hand that had tried to grab Logan. 

And Logan meant to answer, really. But he didn't. And if the only explanation for why he couldn't choke out the words was that he was frozen with fear, well. 

"Don't you remember--" 

"I do." 

If he responded a little too fast, well, that was no one's business, really. 

"I know what happened. Why do you think I came here?"

If he wavered a little before striding forward purposefully and clambering onto Anxiety's still outstretched hand, well, that was no one's business, really. 

Anxiety looked to be on the verge of hyperventilation as he carefully maneuvered Logan up to eye level. He was shaking badly, Logan noticed, his eyes still slitted and wild. And if Logan found the look frighteningly reminiscent of a large cat staring down it's prey, well, that was no one's business, really. 

"Are you crazy??" 

Logan smiled, and if it was a bit shaky, a bit bitter… 

"No. I do not believe that I am." 

"You do realise you'll be _trapped_ with me, for days or more??" 

"I am aware of that, yes. Hence why I have brought along my work."

"So you _are_ crazy!" Anxiety threw his free hand up in disbelief. "Wait wait wait. Let me get this straight, well, gay, I suppose. You, Logan Sanders, embodiment of _logic_ . You came in here _specifically_ to be _trapped_ with me, Virgil Sanders, a _dark side who is currently forty feet tall_?"

"That about sums it up, yes."

"And your defence is that, what, you're _curious_ ? And oh, you brought your _work_ to do so there would be no drop in Thomas's productivity or anything like that?!?" 

"That is correct. I have also left a note for the others."

"... A note. Logan, you _can't_ be serious."

"Of course I'm being serious. Necktie."

"Oh my god."

Logan smiled tightly up at him, shifting slightly to get comfortable. And if it was slightly disconcerting, the way Anxiety's fingers were taller and thicker than he was…, well he was ignoring that in favour of resuming his work. 

"I must be dreaming." Anxiety murmured, carding a gentle finger through Logan's hair. "This must be a dream."

"Is it a good dream?" Logan found himself asking. "Or a nightmare?" 

"... Bit of both really." Anxiety shivered, and Logan had to put out a hand to steady himself. "What if I crush you?!" 

"You're too careful for that."

"What if--" 

"What if I told you that it is currently 3.24 in the morning, and that I didn't sleep last night either."

"You what?!?" Anxiety shrieked, and Logan winced at the sheer volume. "Sorry. Oh. Ohhhh." Anxiety groaned as he carefully scooped up Logan's things and set them aside. "Y-you know you could have just. Like. Told Patton. Activated his dad mode."

"I am aware of that."

"... And you still came to _me_??" 

"That is correct."

"You're _crazy_."

"... I find I am unable to dispute that."

And if Anxiety's gentle stroking had him asleep in seconds, if Anxiety's presence lulled into a deeper and better sleep than he'd gotten in ages, if he woke around lunchtime the next morning feeling much, much better, well that was no one's business, really. No one's business but his own. And well… maybe Anxiety's too. 

If he ate better, slept longer, was somehow more productive, if he just generally _liked_ being cared for slash coddled by Anxiety… If he ended up admitting to the anxious aspect, like he had admitted to no one else, his difficulties in taking care of himself, despite his preachings of a proper bedtime… If he quietly asked Anxiety if he would mind checking in on him, just once in a while, to make sure he didn't pass out from exhaustion, even after Anxiety had shrunk back down… If he was secretly pleased that this had lasted a full _week_ now. It was no one's business really, no one's but his and Anxiety's. 

And he found he rather liked it like this. Because for all his wariness, his insistence that he was _dangerous_ and Logan was _crazy_ , Anxiety was impossibly gentle with him. Because for all his reticence and inhibitions, his instincts brought to light his protective nature. Because for all his twitching and fidgeting, he could tell Anxiety was _listening_ when he did his infodumping. Because for all his 'yeah whatever's and 'if you say so's, Logan still caught those tiny grins that, in comparison to himself, were very big actually. Because… 

"Why _did_ you come?" Anxiety asked quietly, so quietly. 

Because he could answer that question easily, without hesitation, without fear of judgment for his weakness. 

"I came on a whim, when I was… When I needed someone to help me. To force me to take care of myself."

"And why do you seem so content to stay?" 

"Because I _am_ content."

"You can't really mean that."

"Well I do."

"No, no. You must be joki--" 

"Necktie."

Because Anxiety smiled softly and relaxed, just a little, at that one word. 

"Okay. But I should let you know, you're crazy."

Because he could smile right back and relax too. 

"Good."

"... You can call me V. Not in front of the others but… You can call me V."

And if he was very much displeased to wake up in his own room… If he went right back to Anxiety, plopped himself right into the very alarmed aspect's lap and pulled out his computer… If he was very much pleased when Anxiety hesitantly pulled him in, just like before. Well, that was no one's business, really. No one's business but his own, and Anxiety's. 

(1732 words) 


	3. And Don't Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety had no right, absolutely no right, to brainwash one of his friends like this! Although Roman did have to admit that this was a very impressive brainwashing. Anxiety had been so thorough that if Roman didn't know any better, but he did, he'd think Logan actually enjoyed spending time with Anxiety.  
> But that was ridiculous, of course! After all, Anxiety was a dark side!

How do you save someone who doesn't want to be saved? How do you show them the obvious? How do you make the horse drink? Roman pondered these questions as he wandered the halls of the mindscape, twirling his sword in that particular way that, contrary to what the movies claimed, could not in fact deflect projectiles, and overall had no purpose other than to look flashy. 

Roman smiled bitterly, hearing the noise coming from the Commons. Logan and Anxiety were debating something or another. He hadn't stayed long enough to find out what. He didn't really care anyway. What he cared about was the way Anxiety had been holding Logan in his lap, how he had run a hand through Logan's hair, messing it up. 

Anxiety had no right to hold Logan captive like this! He had no right to even  _ touch _ Logan! 

What Roman cared about was the way Logan didn't even  _ try _ to move, leaned right into the touch. What he cared about was the way Logan kept smiling that small smile that was supposed to be reserved exclusively for himself and Patton, and  _ certainly _ not for Anxiety! 

Anxiety had no right, absolutely  _ no right _ , to brainwash one of  _ his _ friends like this! Although Roman  _ did _ have to admit that this was a very impressive brainwashing. Anxiety had been so thorough that if Roman didn't know any better, but he  _ did _ , he'd think Logan actually  _ enjoyed  _ spending time with Anxiety. 

But that was ridiculous, of course! After all, Anxiety was a  _ dark _ side! 

Roman continued down the hallway. The mindscape was infinite, and the parts that weren't frequented had a tendency to be rather fluid. If you wandered aimlessly,  _ truly _ aimlessly, you could theoretically keep walking for an eternity, and get anywhere between a metre from your starting point and so far away it'd take another eternity to get back. At the moment, it seemed he was still no more than two, maybe three metres away. Which wasn't  _ fair _ , since he'd been walking for an hour, at least, turned several dozen turns and even gone down a flight of stairs. Trust the mindscape to keep him here when all he wanted was to get away. 

Roman turned another corner, still grumbling to himself. Did it  _ matter _ that he'd wandered these hallways for hours and hours to try and find Logan? The nerdy  _ idiot _ .  _ Seeking out _ Anxiety, the  _ dark side _ , who at the time had been  _ forty feet tall _ . He'd tried  _ everything _ to find the room, but from the start it was clear; Anxiety didn't  _ want _ the room to be found, so he'd made sure it  _ couldn't _ be, and he wouldn't slip up a second time. 

He turned another corner and oh  _ spectacular _ , he was  _ right  _ back where he started! Stupid mindscape! Peering around the corner, he grumbled to himself. Logan had fallen asleep, his work forgotten but stacked neatly to the side, courtesy of Anxiety, the dark side who he was currently  _ snuggling  _ with. Snuggling! Roman threw his hands up at the sight. Logan was clutching at Anxiety's hoodie, fast asleep, his head buried in Anxiety's chest, blissfully unaware of the danger he was in. 

There was no 'logical' explanation for Logan's current behaviour! Just last night, he had watched Anxiety drag Logan from his room and force him to eat. Logan hadn't called for his princely assistance! Hadn't checked to see if the food was poisoned! He had even  _ thanked _ Anxiety after!! 

And it wasn't  _ fair _ ! If  _ he _ had dragged Logan out of his room, say for a quest in the imagination, Logan would have shook him off and insisted that he  _ needed _ to get back to work! It wasn't  _ fair _ !

"Roman?" 

Roman absolutely did  _ not _ jump and quickly duck away like a teenager getting caught spying on their crush slash enemy. 

"Roman I  _ know _ you're there." He heard Anxiety sigh, shift a little, heard Logan grumble and whine and shift too before settling back down. "I can see your shadow on the wall." 

"... How do you know I'm not Patton?" 

" _ Patton _ doesn't spy on me."

When Roman opened his mouth, he had a very much dignified response, he swore it, it wasn't  _ his _ fault that all that he managed out was a splutter and a couple of offended noises. 

"Roman." Anxiety was saying. 

Roman watched, bitter, as Anxiety carefully scooped Logan off his lap and laid him on the couch, gently brushing away his grabby hands. He couldn't help but take a small step back as the anxious aspect advanced. Roman had never really noticed, but Anxiety was  _ tall _ .  _ Really _ tall. Taller than himself, at least. A side effect, perhaps. 

"Roman, what's wrong?" Anxiety asked. He reached out a hand, making to put it on Roman's shoulder, but then he hesitated and left it hovering. 

Logan was crazy. He'd been brainwashed. But he, Roman Creativity Sanders, would not be fooled! Roman growled lowly, slapping away Anxiety's hand. He tilted his chin up, trying to show his defiance. 

"You don't fool me." Roman hissed. "You can't charm me. Not the way you charmed Logan."

"That's not…" Anxiety sighed. "Princey, there are bags under your eyes. When was the last time you slept?" 

"None of your business!" Roman snapped. "It's none of your business. It isn't. I'm  _ fine _ ."

"Roman--" 

"You're a villain. A prince like myself does not associate with villains!" Roman snapped, turning on his heel and stalking away, mind fixed firmly on his destination so the mindscape wouldn't toss him back to the Commons. Away from here,  _ anywhere _ but here. Away from Anxiety,  _ anywhere _ but with  _ Anxiety _ ! 

And then Anxiety barged past him. His first thought was: wow he's fast. His second thought was: hey wait that's suspicious. 

So of course Roman grabbed his arm. And of  _ course _ Anxiety chose that moment to remember that he could sink down. 

So, in short, that was why Roman was currently clinging onto the smallest handful of black fabric, having been flung into the air by Anxiety suddenly shooting up.

He may or may not have screamed. And if he did scream, he did so in a  _ very _ princely manner,  _ thank you very much _ , And well, he had good reason to be screaming,  _ thank you very much _ , since there was now a space of about  _ thirty feet  _ between his feet and the ground. After all, he was now trapped with his sworn enemy, the dastardly, villainous villain Anxiety! Yes, he was a very brave, princely prince, thank you very much.

He could use some help getting down though. 

"R-roman!" Anxiety shrieked, and Roman had to stop himself from clapping his hands over his ears at the noise. "What are you doing?!" 

Roman made a small noise. A very princely noise,  _ thank you very much _ . 

"Okay, okay, I'm just going t-to move my hand over there. J-just don't let go, okay?" 

Roman managed a tiny nod, clutching the fabric tighter. He closed his eyes as Anxiety's giant hand came over and gently plucked him off the hoodie sleeve, and didn't open them again, not even when he felt the soft but solid flesh under him, or when he felt himself being moved, pressed against a warm, just as soft wall. 

"Oh Princey…" Anxiety murmured. "Deep breaths Princey. I've got you. You're safe."

"A-am I?" Roman asked quietly, eyes still firmly closed, his head bowed and buried in the fabric of the wall. 

"You're not dangling anymore. I promise."

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Roman snapped, his breaths coming in great, shaky heaves, but he didn't care. He forced himself to open his eyes and meet Anxiety's gaze with a glare, his fear making him brave and foolish in equal measures, if there was any distinction between the two at the end of it. 

"I won't hurt you Roman." Anxiety sighed. "And before you say it, yes, I  _ know _ you don't believe me. But just--" 

Anxiety sighed again, smiling bitterly at Roman, reaching a finger up to stroke Roman's back, massaging it gently. 

"Sorry Roman. I think you're stuck with me now." 

Anxiety shifted slightly, one hand still cradling Roman to his chest as he reached for the giant glass of water on the bedside table. Roman shivered, feeling the fabric pull and stretch around him, but he dared not move. He sat still as Anxiety took a normal sized cup between his huge fingers and dipped it into the giant glass, scooping some out before carefully handing it over. If nothing else, Roman  _ was  _ rather impressed by how he didn't spill a single drop. Still, he eyed the water with some suspicion until Anxiety caught on, rolling his eyes and drinking deeply from the large cup to prove the water wasn't poisoned. 

"I'm not going to poison or drug you Princey. Now show me your hands."

Roman stopped. 

"Uh…?" 

"You have a nasty abrasion there from the fabric growing around your grip so fast, don't you?"

Roman dipped his head, looking down at his hands. So he did. The skin was rubbed red and raw, stinging angrily, even bleeding a bit in a few places. There was a small pain in his shoulders too, but he suspected that was from the strain on his arms and not dislocation. Hopefully. 

"I… I didn't notice." He admitted. 

"Explains why you weren't complaining." Anxiety rolled his eyes. "Come on, show them to me." 

Anxiety reached over to the dresser again, this time picking up a first aid kit that was comically small between his giant digits. Still, he opened it easily and managed to extract a roll of bandage. Roman forced himself not to move as Anxiety placed his right hand palm up on just one of his giant fingers, a small wet cloth between another two. Slowly, gently, the anxious aspect cleaned the wounds and wrapped up Roman's hands, only needing Roman's help tucking in the last bit of bandage. As Anxiety moved on to the next hand, Roman did have to admit that he was… He was rather impressed, really, by Anxiety's careful skill and unfaltering precision. 

"There!" Anxiety smiled, triumphant. "All done-- Ah! Why are you crying?!" 

He was… Crying? Oh yes, it seemed he was. Roman's shoulders shook with the force of his sobs, the tears flowing freely. Anxiety made a distressed noise, reaching out and brushing away Roman's tears. 

"Did I hurt you?? Are the bandages too tight?! Roman please don't cry!" 

Roman tried to respond, and he had a very dignified response too, he swore it, but in the end he just sobbed harder, clinging to Anxiety's hoodie and bawling into the fabric in a very unprincely manner. 

"Roman? Uh… There there?" Anxiety tried, a thumb returning to stroke at Roman's back. "I won't hurt you, I promise."

"I-I'm sorry!" Roman finally choked out. 

Anxiety raised an eyebrow, pulling Roman slightly away from his chest. 

"What are you sorry for?" 

"... I don't know… Everything?" 

"Apology accepted…? Why were you crying?" 

Roman just shrugged helplessly. 

"... Well alright then, keep your secrets." Anxiety decided, refilling the normal sized cup and handing it to Roman again. 

Roman managed a small laugh, gratefully accepting the offered glass. 

"T-thank you."

"Not a problem Princey."


	4. You Think I Could?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In theory, Patton knew that he shouldn't be so scared.  
> In practice… Well. He had to make it right! He couldn't be scared of one of his kiddos! That was wrong! And he had to make things right, right? So he was going to ask to join in the next time! It would be rude to just barge in uninvited, after all.

In theory, Patton knew that there was no reason to be afraid of Anxiety. In theory, he knew it wasn't Anxiety's fault, it was his own, for not listening when Anxiety told them to leave. In theory, he knew Anxiety had taken good care of him those few days, doing his best to make it feel less like the moral side was trapped, and more like they were just hanging out. 

In practice however, he shrunk away everytime Anxiety came within two feet and found an excuse to move further away. In practice, he couldn't look the anxious aspect in the eye. In practice, he couldn't stand being in the same room as him for more than fifteen minutes. 

Which was rude, he knew. It was very very rude and, as Morality, he  _ really _ should not be so rude. 

Patton was seeing the fearful facet a lot more often now. What with Anxiety hanging out with Logan, dragging Logan down to eat, forcing him to sleep. This was good, obviously! It was good that Logan wasn't spending so much time cooped up in his room, working twenty four seven. It was good that Logan had someone else to take care of him now. Patton knew he was a bit too soft. He knocked where Anxiety barged in. He pleaded where Anxiety stood firm. He smiled tightly and left the food at Logan's door where Anxiety simply dragged or carried Logan downstairs. It was good that there was now someone else who could draw out Logan's small, small smiles. Logan had never been close, exactly, to Anxiety. But he'd tried. He'd gone to seek out Anxiety. And it had worked out! 

And oh, Roman. Roman  _ definitely _ hadn't liked Anxiety. Roman used to see Anxiety as the villain.  _ Used to _ . Because, apparently, in the half week Roman had accidentally ended up spending with Anxiety, they'd made up. Somewhat. Enough, at least, that yesterday Roman had extended an olive branch to Anxiety of his own volition, asking him for help proofreading one of his projects. Which was big, because well… Roman didn't much like hearing Anxiety's opinion. But that day there was no shouting, no arguing... OK well,  _ some _ arguing, but mostly civil discussion. Which was good! They were getting along! 

They'd both been fine with spending time with Anxiety when he had been giant sized. They'd both come out of it closer to the darker facet than ever. 

So why hadn't Patton? How had he been on the verge of tears and hyperventilation the whole time? Why hadn't he been able to respond when Anxiety had tried to make conversation? Why was he just so  _ afraid _ ? 

In theory, Patton knew that he shouldn't be so scared. 

In practice… Well. He had to make it right! He couldn't be scared of one of his kiddos! That was  _ wrong _ ! And he had to make things right, right? So he was going to ask to join in the next time! It would be rude to just barge in uninvited, after all. 

He knocked first, of course. It was only polite! 

"Coming Lo!" Patton cringed at the anxious aspect's words. Anxiety already had plans with Logan. He'd have to make this quick then. He wouldn't want to intrude on their bonding time, after all. That'd be very rude. "Wow, you're even earlier than usa--" Patton gave a nervous smile as Anxiety broke off. The fearful facet managed a small smile back, but Patton could see him wringing his hands in nervousness. "Oh. Uh… Hi Patton. What are you um… What are you doing here?"

In theory, Patton knew that Anxiety's face had fallen, just slightly, because he had been expecting Logan, and not because he was disappointed to see Patton. In theory, Patton knew Anxiety was shifting nervously because he didn't like unexpected interaction, and he was neither exception nor exemplification. In theory, Patton knew that if Anxiety  _ was  _ disappointed to see him, if it  _ was  _ extra awkward, that was  _ his  _ own fault for actively avoiding the anxious aspect. And, after all, he ought to take responsibility for his actions. 

In practice, he couldn't help but deflate, just a little bit. 

"I um… I just wanted to uh…" Patton swallowed and summoned a smile, forcing his voice to come out a little more certain. "Could I join you? The next time you go giant?" 

"Of course? But um… Pat, are you  _ sure  _ you  _ want _ t--" 

"I'm sure!" 

"Because you were crying an awful lot the last time--" 

"I'll be fineeee." Patton insisted. "It's perfectly fine! I'm fine." 

Anxiety gave him what Patton was pretty sure was a pitying look. 

"Patton." The fearful facet started gently. "No-- Hear me out, okay? I  _ know _ you're still afraid of me, I can  _ feel _ it. Comes with the territory. You don't  _ have  _ to jump right in the deep end--" 

"Off the  _ high _ board?" 

"Pat no-- Good pun, but no deflecting with humour, alright? What I'm saying is, you don't have to  _ force  _ yourself to do this and, hold on Pat, and because I know you will anyway; maybe it would be better if we…" Anxiety's lips quirked up slightly. "Start small?" 

"Good one kiddo!" Patton gave a ginormous (hah!) grin. "But I think I'll be fine! It gi-ain't going to be like last time!" 

"... Okay then." Anxiety sighed. "If you insist. Grab whatever you need, when the time comes. You'll be able to sink in directly. I stopped putting on the protections some time ago."

"Yay!" 

"..."

If you asked Patton, he would say that the only reason he felt the time had come too fast was that Virgil only went giant when Thomas was overwhelmed, and Thomas being overwhelmed was  _ not _ good. He would also be lying, even to himself. But of course, that was something for Deceit to cackle about quietly in the dark side of the mindscape. 

Still, you would have no proof that he was lying, since he was the first to arrive. It wouldn't do to be late after all, Patton reflected, that would be  _ very _ rude. 

"You're fast." Anxiety commented, raising an eyebrow. 

Patton shrugged, not missing the way Anxiety had twitched, just a little, when he'd risen up. 

"Didn't have much to grab."

"...Can I pick you up Pat?" Patton could hear the strain in his voice. And a little part of him was a little afraid, despite everything.

Last time he'd been here… Once he'd been picked up, it seemed the anxious aspect had been literally incapable of putting him back down. The best he could do was maybe put him in his pocket, or have Patton leaning against him. 

Patton averted his eyes. 

"You don't have to ask."

Anxiety frowned, not reaching out, though the way he leaned slightly toward Patton indicated that he really,  _ really _ , wanted to. 

"...Yes, I think I do, actually. I shouldn't have grabbed you the first time. It was wrong, even if I wasn't quite in control."

Patton managed a small sound, one that could be a 'it's fine', a 'don't worry about it', or even an 'I forgive you', but in the end had no meaning at all, really. 

"Pat? Pat, if you want to leave, then you should go. Now, preferably. I won't fault you for it. You know I won't."

"No, no! I just need… O-okay! I'm ready!" 

"Patton."

"I am! Just pick me up, okay? I'm  _ fine _ !"

"No you're not." Anxiety mumbled, but he stretched out a hand and gently scooped Patton up anyway, taking him and setting him against his chest. There, Patton curled up and found himself hit with an intense wave of deja vu. The rise and fall of Anxiety's chest, the rhythmic thumping. The pulling and stretching of fabric around him, the looseness of the cloth, such that he was practically swimming in it. The almost overwhelming warmth emanating from the fearful facet's body making his mind fuzzy and tired. Anxiety reaching out and stroking his hair, massaging his back, putting a hand over him. He wasn't pressing down, just letting it rest there, but Patton could still feel the weight. 

Now, in theory, Patton knew that Anxiety meant it as a protective gesture, like a shield, like a weighted blanket, like the anxious aspect could keep him safe if he just held him there and didn't let go. In theory, Patton knew how pleasant this could be considered. It was sort of like being rocked to sleep. Anxiety's hoodie was just so  _ unbelievably _ soft, and he was pleasantly warm. He was  _ cozy _ and he was  _ safe _ , it felt like he could fall asleep at any moment. Now if he could just  _ stop _ being so terrified, because in practice… 

"Breathe Pat.  _ Breathe _ ." Anxiety was coaxing him, a finger on his cheek to wipe away his tears and wow, wasn't this familiar too? Patton automatically grabbed on, hugging the digit to his chest, just trying to… Well he didn't know what he was doing, really, but Anxiety was still talking, so he should probably listen. It would be  _ rude _ not to listen when someone was talking, after all. "J-just follow the rise and fall of my chest, okay? In… And out. In… And out."

Patton tried his best to obey, planting a smile on his face.

"Ah ah, no fake smiles Pat-- No, none of that! Breathe in, and out. In, and out. There we go." Anxiety sighed. "I knew you weren't ready, I shouldn't have let you come, or stay."

Patton hastily wiped away his tears, forcing himself to give a grin. Although, hadn't he just been told  _ not _ to do that? Wasn't it  _ bad _ that he wasn't listening? But then again, this smile wasn't  _ fake _ , was it? Well, didn't matter. It was stuck there now and he didn't think he  _ could _ peel it off. 

"No no kiddo, it's my fault." He had to take responsibility. It was  _ his _ fault, after all. "I know you mean well. I just don't know why I'm crying. I shouldn't be crying. Crying is  _ bad _ !" 

Anxiety made a small noise, cupping Patton in his hands and curling in around him. What did that mean, Patton wondered, was he mad? The noise didn't  _ sound  _ mad… Was he  _ sad _ ?! He didn't want his kiddo to be sad!

"I mean-- I shouldn't be scared of you! It's not your fault! It's mine! It's wrong for me to be scared!" He rambled on. "It's not  _ right _ , and I'm  _ morality _ , it's my  _ job _ , my whole  _ existence _ , to make it  _ right _ so-" 

"Patton-- Patton stop please--" 

"I shouldn't be scared of you." Patton insisted. "I shouldn't. I shouldn't! It's  _ wrong _ ! You're one of my k-kiddos, I shouldn't be scared of you!" 

"But you are and that's fi--" 

"It's not!" Patton shrieked. And oh look, he was  _ yelling _ at his kiddo now. He  _ shouldn't _ be yelling! He just needed to calm down. He needed to  _ apologise _ . He needed to-- "It's not fine! It's not! I-- Oh." Patton chuckled nervously, burying his head in his hands. " _ Oh _ . I'm not fine." 

"Pat breathe--" 

"No! I should be fine! I was fine just last-- I smiled just-- Last week I--" 

"... C'mon Pat. Just follow my breathing again, okay?" 

"I'm scared." Patton whimpered. "I'm so scared. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising."

"Sorr-- Oh."

"You have nothing to apologise for, okay?" 

"... Are you sure?" 

"I'm sure." Patton shivered as Anxiety stroked his back. "Listen Pat, do you have any idea how scared  _ I'd _ be if I were in your position?" 

"But--" 

"No, listen. Fear is a natural response. It's natural for you to be afraid. I don't blame you for being scared."

"Well you should." Patton whispered. 

"Well I  _ don't _ , okay? It's  _ not _ your fault. If anything, it's mine. I used to be pretty harsh. I only intended to make you listen but… I'm sorry for that. And I know, being trapped with me at such a stature, with that reputation I had built… I know. It's going to be alright Pat. You can take your time getting used to me."

"... Okay."

Anxiety smiled down at him. 

"Now."

Patton felt everything around him move, and then there were another two pairs of arms, normal sized ones, wrapped around him. 

"Padre?" 

That was Roman. Roman couldn't see him like this! He needed to be strong! He needed to be--

"You don't  _ need _ to be anything." 

That was Logan. Logan was here too. All of his kiddos were here, and he was making a  _ scene _ . He had to--

"Patton  _ no _ ."

Anxiety's voice rumbled around him, and Patton felt something warm and soft gently smooth his hair. 

"No apologising for having emotions, okay Pat? Why don't you just… just rest, okay? And we can talk about it more later. I promise, Patton. You can come to us anytime. Whenever you're overwhelmed, I'll hold you close. Just don't let go, okay?" 

Patton smiled back, a real smile this time, he hoped. And if it wasn't, well, maybe he could try to work on that. 

"You think I could?"


End file.
